In 2019 I decided I was going to try building a coaching business while working full time in fintech.

I built some programs but was not really doing the activities needed to grow the business. 

Then in 2020, I was laid off.

I was now faced with two choices:

1. Get another job (probably in tech or operations), or

2. Go all in on the business 

I chose option 2.

So now that NOT growing my business was not an option, I was forced to start doing the things that needed to be done to move the needle… and fast.  

With this new fire, I was able to launch my coaching business and work with enough clients to never need to take a job I didn’t want again.

NECESSITY is the emotional drive that makes great performance a must, instead of a preference. 

When there’s an increased sense of necessity to do well, it’s easier to keep going when life gets hard, obstacles pop up, or you just don’t feel like showing up that day. 

Another way to understand what raising necessity means is to think about increasing the pressure or force surrounding your goals. 

Increasing this makes it easier for us to take action and push through challenges.

Now, when I work with someone who is dragging their feet on taking action, very often it’s because their goals are a preference, not a necessity. 

Now I’m not suggesting that if you want to successfully start a business, you need to quit your 9-5.

But what I am suggesting, is that if you want to perform at your highest level and create an extraordinary life, increasing Necessity is a key component. 

In this post, I'm going to break down how.

It’s Not Your Fault

In the age of dating apps and streaming services, now more than ever, people struggle to stick with things.

If it isn’t great right away, we get discouraged. 

I’ve been guilty of this as well. 

 It also doesn’t help that we’re bombarded by the advertising of ‘Get Rich Quick’ content.

The truth is, anything that’s worthwhile takes time. And will require you to show your worthiness by overcoming challenges.

That goes for both business and relationships

I learned that if I wanted to be the type of person who performs at a high level consistently in order to create my dream life, I needed to build resilience. 

Typically, resilience is built through going through trials. 

But I found that I naturally became more resilient by learning how to raise my Necessity. 

Performance Necessity is a combination of internal forces and external forces.

I like to call this our Internal power and External power.

INTERNAL POWER

To use internal forces to increase your inner power you can:

• Raise Your Standards

• Make Excellence Your Identity

• Be Fully Engaged With Your Mission

In a previous post, I broke down how to use the Dilts pyramid to create effective personal transformations.

When you focus on shifting your identity, it automatically makes it easier for you to also change the levels below it. This means your:

• values & beliefs,

• capabilities,

• behaviors, and

• environment.

In my situation when I went from being the “Fintech guy that’s starting a side business” to “An entrepreneur” - that was a massive shift in my identity.

I sought out new communities, invested in new skills, and my habits changed. 

But you don’t need something to happen for you to assume a new identity. 

You can at any moment. 

You just have to decide to commit to it.

Here are 10 steps to shifting your Identity:

1. Define Your Desired Identity: Start by clearly defining who you want to be. Consider:

   1. - How do they see themself? What type of work ethic do they have?

   2. - What skills do they have?

   3. - What habits do they have?

   4. - Where do they spend their time? And with who?

2. Understand Your Current Identity: Reflect on your current beliefs, behaviors, and self-perception. Understanding where you are starting from is crucial to mapping out the changes you wish to make.

3. Identify Limiting Beliefs: Recognize any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from becoming your desired self. These could be negative thoughts about your abilities, worthiness, or possibilities.

4. Create Affirmations and Visualizations: Develop positive affirmations that reinforce your desired identity. Use visualization techniques to imagine yourself embodying the traits and behaviors you aspire to. Regular practice can help rewire your brain to accept these as part of your self-identity.

5. Implement Behavioral Changes: Start adopting the behaviors and habits that align with your desired identity. Small, consistent actions can lead to significant transformations over time.

6. Surround Yourself with Supportive Environments and People: Your environment and social circle can greatly influence your identity. Surround yourself with people and environments that reflect and support the person you want to become.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: Engage in regular mindfulness practices and self-reflection to monitor your progress, understand your emotions, and adjust your strategies as needed.

8. Learn and Adapt: Be open to learning and adapting as you go. Your understanding of your desired identity may evolve, and it's important to be flexible in your approach.

9. Seek Professional Support if Needed: If you find it challenging to shift your identity on your own, consider seeking the support of a therapist or coach who can guide you through the process.

10. Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This reinforces positive changes and keeps you motivated.

EXTERNAL POWER

To use external forces to increase your external power:

• Tap Into Your “Why”

• Connect With Your Obligations

• Set Deadlines

Your “Why” is something bigger than you that you commit yourself to. 

I made a video about how to find your “Why” on my new YouTube channel that you can check out here.

Obligations are things and people you have a responsibility to. Partners, kids, friends.

This is why accountability buddies are so effective. We’ll let ourselves down, but as social creatures, we try much harder to not let others down.

And deadlines are self-explanatory…

One of the most valuable things I’ve learned is the value of setting deadlines for myself, even if it was a project I was in full control of. 

Conclusion

So you don’t need to wait until you lose your job or have your heart broken to level up. 

Just assume the identity of the type of person you want to be, live passionately aligned with your “Why”, and publicly announce your goals and deadlines. 

Do this, and you will be sure to light a fire under you that helps you push through any challenges that come your way. 

If you’re looking to make significant changes in your life, check out my new free guide: 5 Actionable Steps to Transform Your Passion into a Career or Side Hustle (With ChatGPT prompts)

This is a cool resource I put together breaking down how to use Chat GPT to outline your vision for creating or scaling a passion business or side hustle.

Also, feel free to share this with someone you think could benefit from this information. 

Be blessed,

Widmarc 🌞